If.....there is only one true happiness.
Saturday, Feb. 15, 2003 - 12:44 a.m.
I am sure glad that is finally over. This has been one of the strangest Valentines days I have had in a long while.
It started good, and had a lot of bright spots in it. I hate to say it, I will anyway. Holidays and days like today are not made for singles.
I am not sure why being alone on a day like this should be any worse than being alone on any other day. I just know it seems that way.
I have gotten where I don't want to write anything negative in here because someone always says something nice to cheer me up, and usually I am totally cheered by the time they do. So it is nice to know that people care, and yet I feel like I am whining when I see it.
I don't really have much negative to say anyway. Not anymore. A lot of things have changed in my life in the recent past. Nearly everyone of them positive.
It is kind of interesting to me that I have noticed that there are some things that I cannot do at the same time I do others.
Part of me wants to cry, about how I came to be where I am. Part of me wants to laugh and smile about where I am compared to where I could be.
I know that I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that I have a job (sort of lol). And I have a nice place to live.
I have people that love me once again, now that I have allowed that to happen. And maybe to me even better than being loved, I have an outlet for my love, and I am thankful for that.
As much as a part of me wants to be sad about being alone tonight, there is another part that reminds me to be thankful. Thankful for having both others in my life, and thankful for having someone to love, and be loved by in a more personal way.
Hard as part of me tries to think of the negative, it seems to be impossible for thankfulness, and sadness or lonliness to co-exist in my mind. I am noticing tonight, that each one excludes the other.
May I remember this. One sure way for me to avoid a feeling of emptiness, is to fill it with thankfulness.
George Sand said...There is only one true happiness in life: to love and be loved....
When you follow that up by saying... how lucky we are...how could I possibly not be thankful that you feel that way?
I have at times had success as the world defines it. And good social standing. And many wonderful "things". Without someone to share them with....much of their luster was lost.
After I see the sun rise and set so many times, I realize that it does not have the same beauty as when it is a shared experience.
I got a note one time from Amberfalls, that said...life is sometimes bittersweet is it not?
If a picture paints a thousand words....
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
And when my love for life is running dry..
You come and pour yourself on me...
One by one the stars would all roll out....
And you and I would simply fly away....-bread
Yeah......I may be a little sad sometimes. I am however very thankful for your love.
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