Why yes, this is my diary, and my life. Thanks for noticing that.
Friday, Mar. 14, 2003 - 5:17 p.m.
Ever have one of those days when no matter what you say, it is just not understood?
No matter what, once a person makes up their mind to something, not even the facts can change it. Not that this is etched in stone. Not that it applies to anyone but me.
This is my diary. I get reminded of that from time to time by those who would be thoughtful of me. I am one of those people that concerns themselves with how they speak and what they say will adversely affect someone else.
To put it simply, I have no desire to cause grief to anyone. Even people that are not good to me. Not because they deserve it per se. More because it matters to me what my actions are.
Sometimes I violate my own principles. Sometimes I do not say or do the things that I would like to think I do.
I could just stop writing in here, and stop looking in here, and then I would not be distracted by misunderstandings and such. I do not want to do that.
I know it is my problem, and not someone elses that I let myself be distracted. I have some very important issues to deal with in the next month, and I do not have time to do damage control for someone else.
I happen to know that I mean no harm to anyone in dland or outside of it. If you do not know that, then that is too bad for you. If you do not believe me when I say this, then don't waste your time wallowing in the words of such a liar as myself.
I will take all the encouragement that is offered to me. I will ignore all the strife that is sent my way. I say this, now let's see if I am able to carry it out.
If I am not, then I will just quit writing and reading here. Not quit reading what others write, only what is written to me here, in this gb and notes.
If that is the case, then I will return in a month or so unless I change my mind. Actually I can just lock this diary. I just remembered that. That would be much easier than starting a new place to write.
I know I am not going to stop writing because it is actually very useful to me in seeing the things I want to in print.
Ah, sometimes the solution to a problem is so much easier than I think it will be.
I am still thoughtful, and kind, and troubled by others pain in some ways. Still, I have to say, if you think this diary is about you, Get a grip. Check your facts.
I will be glad to respond to any questions anyone may want to ask. I will delete and ignore all accusations aimed my way. I am not on trial, and if you think I am, wow, seriously, get a grip.
Now see, I used no names in here. If this does not apply to you, then isn't that just peachy?
If it does apply to you, which part of it is me misusing you? Which part of it is me doing you wrong? What exactly are you expecting from me that I am not doing/giving you?
So if you need to be locked out of here, just let me know by leaving me disturbing notes. You can control the key, if you want it locked. Of course you will not have the key to open it again. Ha ha and if you are anonymous, I will not take you seriously, and will just enjoy.
If you want the key, just let me know.
Well, alrighty then. I think I have said what is on my mind. I feel much better now.
Look at me....still thoughtful....I hope you feel fine as well who ever you are, and what ever you think.
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