Relatively motionless snacks.
Thursday, May. 15, 2003 - 5:10 p.m.

While it is true dat that Einsteinium at least labelled his relativity a theory, as did Mr. Darles Charwin his on evolution, I will say my next theme in my next few sentences is not theory, but actually something I observed to be fact in my travels back and forth through the millenia, and I will do this without making another sentence as long as this one.

[inhale deep breath here]

Albert knows more about figs than Sir Paul (Newton) McCartney ever knew about relativity.

Let me recap...

McCartney's first law of physics states:

A Fig Newton once chewed and swallowed tends to stay in motion towards the stomach through the esophagus until it reaches an acidic state.

The second law of relativity states:

Said swallowed Newton cannot be destroyed, only changed in form to hmm... well we all know what it changes to in the end.

where the relativity part comes in here is the fact that though everything comes out in the end, as basically the same substance, it does not really matter what substance it starts out as.

Not 100 per cent true, which is why it is relative.

The final law of employment states:

A state worker at rest tends to stay at rest until a supervisor is detected approaching.

Here once again relativity dictates that the rest will take the form of motion in differing directions depending on the relationship to the supervisor.

This ends todays lecture.

Remember your friday deadline to submit notes in regards to this physical relativity.

Tea to be served afterwards and snack cookies will be provided for all.

previous - next

Indy - Friday, Dec. 11, 2009
ain't that a bitch - Tuesday, Apr. 07, 2009
Did I say Lapse of time? - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2009
Looks like Saskatchewan to me - Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008
- - Monday, Nov. 17, 2008

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