It has been a trying twenty years. Oh yeah, I guess maybe more like two days. Just seemed like years.

I just spent four hours with my friend I wrote about in my last entry. It was so wonderful, and I am so glad to say that she is recovering well. She had a stroke while we were at work, and I really pretty much lost sight of positive things in life.

So, she is not out of the woods, though she is certainly at the edge of them, and looking outward. She is full of smiles, and gaining strength by the hour. The only noticeable effect from this is she seems to be freezing, and shivering some.

I told her hey, you are always freezing, so what is new. It has really given me some time to think, and I am not sure what I have come up with, though I somehow feel renewed through all of this.

I know I somehow see her in a different light than before this. I see her as more fragile than I ever had before. Yet, her positive attitude has not changed at all.

I read what I had written last a few times, and cried every time. Partly it is because I did not realize just how much she meant to me, and this brought it out. Partly because it took me back to a recurring theme I have had lately about people disappearing in my life. Ha ha, ok maybe not recently, more like a core thought the last three years since my fiance became a missing person.

I felt a little like I was whining in my last entry, and then I figure...better that I become emotional over the potential loss of someone so close to me than to be so cold that I refuse to react.

I got some very nice notes about this, and I appreciate them so much. If I had the energy, I would make links to all of them in here. Since my eyes feel like two holes burnt in a blanket right now, I believe I will sleep instead.

So, ms P Q, I told you everything would be ok, even though I was having trouble believing it. Some other folks told me it would be ok, one literally, and more in other words, or smiles, or hugs.

I was right even though my faith was a bit weak, and so were they. Everything IS going to be OK. I am so glad you did not disappear, and get well soon I am missing you at work, though spending some time with you away from there is certainly a pleasure as well.

And yes, I will take care of myself. Thanks for watching out for me when you are ill. You are a better friend than I even knew.

I am spent like last years taxes.

Time for zzzzzz.

ps. of her soul do I remember? haha this has been such a good day. I missed you so much. This is such good news.