Part of a long bio. Without numbers.
Thursday, Mar. 27, 2003 - 8:46 a.m.
Ok, I am writing the longest bio on dland that I know of. Ha ha. Yeah, did you notice that I laughed there?
I have written a few entries that have the feel of sadness to them. I am not sure how to say what I feel about this.
My life is not more important than the life of anyone else. I have not suffered more than anyone in history. I am not obsessed, or miserable about the things I am writing about.
I don't know more about what all this means than anyone else.
I have more questions than I have answers.
I wish I had not taken so many years to start looking for the answers to them.
Nearly every horrible thing that has happened to me in my life has led to, or enabled me to see, or appreciate something greater, that would not have been without that horrible thing taking place.
Had my way been smoother, I think I might lack the appreciation I have for some of the simpler things in life.
I am sure that the best days of my life are in front of me, and not behind me.
I will, though more slowly than usual for me take the steps necessary to make sure of that.
Things pale to insignificance to people in my life. That can often lead to disappointment, as people are messier than things.
No amount of money could purchase from me one person who I consider a friend. Even though I am not good at determining who is and is not my friend.
I put a lot less faith in luck and destiny than I do in perserverance, and determination.
I am solely responsible for my happiness.
Ultimately, my life is what I make of it.
I am a bigger enemy to me than you could ever be.
I am my very most loyal friend.
When I am on my side, I am nearly super human.
I frequently sacrifice my own good for yours.
Most people don't appreciate that, or even care, and many even consider me a loser for that.
Those that do appreciate, and care about that make the disappointment of those who don't amount to less than nothing to me.
I appreciate any effort by anyone to help me make good choices, even when I do not accept the suggestions made.
I eventually totally reject anyone who tries to enforce my compliance with the choices they would make for me.
I would do almost anything a person asked me to.
I can almost never be forced, or coerced into doing anything.
I am not troubled that my enemies are not yours.
I am not troubled that my friends are not yours.
You will not make your friends mine.
You will not make your enemies mine.
Only you can make an enemy of me.
Only you can make a friend of me.
I admire tolerance, acceptance, and appreciation more than anything in another person.
I am not happy when I find myself having a lack of any of these three things in myself.
I find cruelty, and insensitivity distasteful.
In me, or in you.
I do not expect you to live up to my expectations.
My expectations are for me, and not for you.
You are more likely to get out of me what you want than what you expect.
I have no desire to live your life.
I have little patience with you trying to live mine.
I often use too many words to say something.
I admire people who do not, and occasionally have success in emulating them.
I am patient with people who also use many words to express things, as I understand.
I sometimes hurt people by being honest, and forgetting that sometimes people want to hear what they want to hear.
I am not proud of that, and wearing it like a badge of pride.
If I say something that offends or hurts you, it is ALMOST NEVER my intention. I say almost, because sometimes I am petty, and want to offend or hurt you because I forget that is not the way to soothe my own hurts.
I don't believe saying I love you has to mean I love what you can do for me.
I want people to like me.
I am surprised when someone decides that I am not worth knowing, or respecting.
I don't always know the truth about me.
I am tired so I am not going to write more in here right now.
Good night. I am going to write something short in my other diary and then go to bed.
I have a doctors appointment in about five hours, and I need to rest.
previous - next
Indy - Friday, Dec. 11, 2009
ain't that a bitch - Tuesday, Apr. 07, 2009
Did I say Lapse of time? - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2009
Looks like Saskatchewan to me - Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008
- - Monday, Nov. 17, 2008