I am embarrassed about what I wrote in here the last time. I will not delete it though, so here i be uncut. Well not literally uncut haha.

I am smiling for real though.

I talked to one of my surgeons on call and he confirmed what was told me in my guest book. Part of my errant thinking was due to medications.

Then I got more notes from mr. z0tl, and I felt a little better.

Then I talked in im to ms_ashlynn for quite awhile, and I feel much better now than I did.

My friend Pamela called to check on me, and I started feeling more and more like a whining fool.

I still can not understand why anyone would take these drugs for pleasure. They are nothing but an interruption of my life.

Still the pain is debilitating without them.

I think I will go and try to write something and be cool in dcalienz.

I am writing this in case anyone read what I wrote before. This wearing my inside out in public is so strange to me, I am not deleting anything nevertheless.

I am going to write what ever comes off the top of my head in my other.

Yay for sponteneity. <----did I spell that right?

I doubt it.

I don't care right now.