Two pronged assault. Ok, so bring it.
Saturday, Jun. 07, 2003 - 8:49 a.m.
The labor is past
tho not my last
I toiled as one invisible to all but a few.
Only one was to be avoided tho many did not detect me as a result.
Under your nose yet invisible to you like some
modern day ninja
or predator that blends in with his surroundings
The one who leads me told me that I must become
non-existent to one person for a period of up to two months.
This I have accomplished so far.
it is further ordered that I speak not of these things to any that would relay it.
In this I am struggling to comply
The penalty for failure?
Death. Slow and painful. Literal death.
I have been here before.
Never in quite this manner however
Survival depends entirely on stealth and subterfuge from an enemy that possesses a weapon so powerful that there is no defense against it.
Fortunately this enemy is unaware of the power of the weapon they wield.
And yet the weapon is brandished and partially used all around me like a child playing with a deadly serpent, having no idea of the danger that it presents.
Misplaced trust and the inability to bridle my tongue in my own defense is what brought me to this place.
And now I find myself in a struggle for survival against an enemy with little to no awareness of the destruction that can result.
Many have stepped up and asked to be involved and I have no idea who to trust, so I find myself trusting not.
I know that most of them only want to join this little adventure as a lark intent on amusing themselves with ironies involved here. Only a very few realize how deadly this game is.
Some have seen me as paranoid from their sheltered little perspectives. It is so easy to judge that which you have no real interest in, or knowledge of.
Everything that slips outside of your experience takes on a much lesser meaning doesn't it?
Yes, if it has not happened to you, then it does not exist.
You only think you know.
I have been instructed to find a support system for a course of treatment that I am about to undertake.
Told that suicide and homicide tendencies are likely to develope, and my support is to call my Dr. if any of this is observed.
Anyone reading this want to apply for the job?
I am starting in about two weeks a drug therapy for a period of one year with a cost of three thousand dollars per week for the drugs only.
Weekly bloodwork extra.
I will not even list the side effects likely to occur. They are devestating to normal living.
This gives me a fifty percent chance of cure I am told.
The treatment may cause me to be diabetic, or inflicted with lupus.
Thankfully I will only have to go through the first six weeks of it in danger of being destroyed by my enemy.
I have not started treatment, and already feel a little homocidal in that regard.
I have no intention of acting on that by the way.
Though I am told the drugs may encourage me to do so.
So I find myself with no support that I know of, and with no experience with that type of thing. I have always just took care of myself up to now.
Shall I appeal to strangers for such a large task?
Well it seems large to me.
I have told my family that I have been in touch with about this, and their response was...
Oh, ya, that sounds pretty bad.
I am looking to be positive.
Anyone who has anything positive to say, I would welcome that.
Anyone who has anything negative to say, I will merely delete.
I have been told it is that important.
Actually it has been my experience to grow stronger in the face of attack, so perhaps I should welcome that as well.
For now all I know to use for support is to write what is happening, and review it, and learn where my head is heading.
So that is what I will do.
previous - next
Indy - Friday, Dec. 11, 2009
ain't that a bitch - Tuesday, Apr. 07, 2009
Did I say Lapse of time? - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2009
Looks like Saskatchewan to me - Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008
- - Monday, Nov. 17, 2008