The Midas touch without the curse.
Tuesday, Mar. 11, 2003 - 8:55 a.m.

Well what do you know? I got a phone call last night. I thought it was my daughter. I was wrong. It was one of my sons' girlfriends. Ha ha, ok let me rephrase that. The call was from a gurl/woman. She is the girlfriend of one of my sons.

Ok, now that I have restored him to monogamy, I would like to say that she is now the fiance of one of my sons. She found me. She found my phone number. She knows where every one of my children live. She is going to marry my son next month. My entire family will be there. I believe I will be there too.

I have lost things in my life, and found a few of them later. This is way better than that.

Yesterday was a very good day for me. Not only did all that happen, on top of that, here are a few other things that occurred.

1. My family found me. I already said that.

2. A woman I love told me several times how much she loves me.

3. I got all kinds of notes, and letters from people I care a lot about.

4. I completed one month without smoking.

5. I slept 9 hours as opposed to the usual 4 or 5.

6. When I got to work, I was given a rose, and three cards, and hugs in abundance.

7. I spent the night working being treated as if I were the most important person there.

I like the number seven. I will stop there.

I will say something about a note I got though. It is from Yuta-Shohei from diaryland. You can find her on my doors page.

From the note she left me, I remembered this. Sometimes when I want something badly, I try to get it, or find it, or make it happen. If I just wait instead, not only do I usually get it, it is very much not stressful looking forward to it.

A lot of my life, no matter what I touched, it seemed to turn to gold. The things that did not, I simply put out of mind, and looked forward to the next golden opportunity.

This is not to say that I did not work, and take steps toward goals. It is to say I never gave much thought as to whether my goals would be reached. Of course they would.

Now, I know that some of my goals were not reached. The beauty of it is this. I can't really remember the ones that did not happen.

I will not lie, I have had a very bad three years or so. I remember a lot of things that did not happen, and ones that did. Most of the time was spent with the goal of either finding someone, or earning my next meal, or finding a safe place to sleep in my car.

At some point, I realized that I did not expect good things to happen to me. And sure enough, I often took the action, or inaction that helped perpetuate my poor situation. I felt like an alien. I did not know how not to be a winner.

I know how to live that way now. At some point I made up my mind not to live in a hostile alien environment where survival was the only goal.

The more I have expected things to go the way I want them, the more that has happened. I am tempted from time to time to see failure in my future. I don't know if I will ever lose that.

I hope not. I do not want to forget the lessons I have learned from living at a subsistence/survival level.

At the same time, I expect good things to happen to me. So thanks, yuta-shohei.

I have been blessed from reading the note you left me. Ha ha Even though I had to read it about ten times before I understood the message it contained. I may not know what those words meant to you when you wrote them. I have just stated some of the things they have meant to me.

previous - next

Indy - Friday, Dec. 11, 2009
ain't that a bitch - Tuesday, Apr. 07, 2009
Did I say Lapse of time? - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2009
Looks like Saskatchewan to me - Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008
- - Monday, Nov. 17, 2008

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